ill never find a medium that i love more than the other i think...i just go in and out of phases...


current phase charcoal.




i have alot more on my myspace

although 2007 went out with a bang and I had a blast with some awesome people... the actual year itself sucked. I would bore everyone if i talked about everything cause basically..there is to much shittyness. The things that stand out though to not do in 2008 is... trust someone for over 12 months thinking you are something speacial to find you arent shit. Unfortunatley i am the dumbass in this situation. Another thing is putting all my faith in certain people....cause when you give someone everything you have where its boy, best friend, aqquainatance...when you get hurt you are left with nothing.

2008.
good job.
solid friends.
not over thinking shit. i am younger than i seeem...i push my self to find out what my lifes purpose is,and well...while that is awesome. I am not having any fun.. just feeling shitty about who I am.
forget about a certain person.
do art.. art art art.
see things.
listen to more awesome music... music music music.
sing all the time.
stay healthy.

...
...
..

and booze it up. lets not lie. I'm gonna booze it up.

Christmassssssss
New polaroid camera and film.
New 14 by 17 inch sketch book.
New 10 by 12 drawing pad.
24 water color and water color pencils.
Pack of charcoal sticks.
Pack of charcoal pencils with white out pencil
Clothes.
80 dollars in a stocking haha.
perfumeeeee.
kanye shades luh huh loveeeeeee.
New black boots.
New speakers for my records and shit ahhhhh.

When my parents by me all this......but I all I neeed me is money to survive daily? Hahaha I am very greatful though. Living home brings a lot of fucking pain...but damn waking up to that much shit was insane...I am technically kicked out tooo...which is weird. I was expecting a gift card.

I haven't drawn anything in 7 days. That is
pretty much one of the biggest downers I have going on, mostly because the reason I can't draw is because I am not inspired. Nothing in my life is inspiring anymore.....not in a happy way or an overly depressed way.....I am not inspired by anything. Numb.

I also don't trust anyone.....and as much as I say that and its very wah wah wah ....now I am just more scared then anything. I can't believe that for once I just don't have faith in anything going on....other then art probably, or music or something along those lines.

I was looking through all my albums and some of them are just as good as memories for me. I can play certain songs.....and just remember everything about the first time I heard those songs... or I just get this unexplainable feeeling that makes me feel more sane that anything . The same feeling I get when I draw everything just makes sense.

I guess feeeling sad, mad, happy, whatever......at least its feeeling something...as Tennessee Williams said... "Don't look forward to the day you stop suffering, because when it comes you'll know you're dead."

i love christmas and i hate being sick. I also love my sister who has beeen keeping me company while i am soooo sick, she may be a pain in the ass sometimes but i love her more than anything in the whole world.

Well I am dying, aside from not really having a place of residence anymore andliving like a vagabond.....

I started out having a bad cough and sneezing a lot two days ago. It was bad but hey, I usually go with the fact that most pain is mental. Yesterday the cough got more intense and my sore throat was not even bareable. Last Night Mikey, Bianca, Dustin and I were hanging out and I felt myself not even being able to say a whole sentence without feeling like I wasn't able to breathe right. It got worse and I wasn't able to sleeeep. At 4 am bianca drove me back to my parents.....I asked them to put all the petty bullshit aside and promised to leave again once I got better but I wasn't breathing correctly and needed to go to a hospital. So it started to get even worse... I was lightheaded and I started begining to pass out before I could get to a doctor... the doctor said to keeep me awake because if I passed out I wouldn't be able to keeep forcing my self to breathe.....it was so painful. Finally I found out the breathing chambers in my chest had tightened and made it so it was so hard for me to breathe and I had a flu with pneumonia like symptoms. They perscribed me 2 inhalers and an asssload of medicine... I feeeel so shitttty.

:(

I am making christmas cards! Each one unique and from the heart!
<3
Get stoked.

i almost had a heart attack while watching law and order svu tonight.



i love pbs. someone should actually donate money to those lame ass motherfuckers.